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Ukrainian Woman Goes Undercover at “Mail Order Bride” Agency, Debunks Stereotypes

What’s on Kiev, an English language magazine in Ukraine, recently published an article about one Ukrainian woman’s experience at an international dating/”mail order bride” agency in the nation’s capital city. Author Sasha Milevskaya’s experience offers some interesting insight into what ladies experience when they look for love overseas as well as shatters a few stereotypes about Ukrainian women and the international dating industry. Here are 3 common mail order bride myths that the author’s experience completey debunks.

Mail Order Bride Myth #1: Russian Women, Ukrainian Women Are Paid to Chat

If the various anti-scam forums and blacklist websites are to be believed, most, if not all, agencies pay Russian and Ukrainian women to chat with men. However, when Sasha registers with an agency full of “young beauties” there is no mention of monetary compensation. The agency owner simply explains the service and interviews Sasha to determine what kind of man she’s hoping to find. Though a few unscrupulous agencies pay women to chat, there are plenty who do not.


Mail Order Bride Myth #2: The Women Are Submissive, Desperate

One of the most common stereotypes about women seeking love overseas is that they are meek, submissive creatures who are desperate to find (any) foreign man. This is illustrated by a gentleman named Richard who informs Sasha he is in the process of corresponding with three other women and will choose his favorite in a few months. Richard also tells Sasha when he wants to chat with her online and reprimands her when she misses the appointment due to work. It doesn’t occur to Richard that one of the women may not want him or that cultivating relationships with foreign men isn’t a top priority in the ladies’ lives. Needless to say, the author isn’t impressed and can’t imagine any women, Ukrainian or otherwise, who would give into Richard’s demands.


Mail Order Bride Myth #3: Russian and Ukrainian Women Are Poor, Miserable, and Longing to be “Saved”

Another common myth about Russian and Ukrainian women is that they are poor and miserable in their home countries and that they long for a foreign man to save them. However, when one Lebanese man invited a Ukrainian lady to meet him on vacation he was “depressed” to discover that the lady was “not the inexperienced Ukrainian beauty he was hoping for; eager to travel and see life beyond that of Kyiv or its cozy Obukhiv highway hotels.” He was also astonished at the amount of money she carried. The author shatters another gentleman’s preconceptions when he learns that she enjoys her job as a secretary and has no plans of giving it up any time soon. Surprise! The women aren’t miserable OR desperate and they don’t need saving.

Contrary to popular belief, Russian and Ukrainian women are not poor, miserable, and desperate; they’re not meek and submissive; and they don’t automatically receive money to chat with Western men. The author’s experience only justifies these claims.